Okay Flisters, help the useless uninformed person

What would be a good antivirus program for me to download? Preferably free, but I'm willing to pay (better that then get my computer killed). I'd been using AVG free, but they've cut the update support and I've been dead in the water for a few months, and now my laptops doing suspicious slow running thing and I'm just ever so slightly concerned.

Just pump it straight into my veins...

I think I'm addicted to memes, and I also have serious difficultly in saying no to memes which pop up on my Flist, especially memes of a writerly persuasion, such as this little number I picked up from jjpor :

Give me two characters from different fandoms you know I'm familiar with, and I'll give you a dialogue happening between the two of them. Without justifying how the crossover would work, how their worlds clashed or how they could even meet each other. Just a silly crossover conversation with no backstory, for fun.

Fandoms I'm familiar with, well, by familiar I mean 'seen enough to be somewhat comfortable writing in':

*Doctor Who and its various spin-offs, New, Classic, Audio, the SJAs etc. (I could probably write Torchwood at a stretch, but, erm, probably not your best bet if you're looking for stellar characterization)
*Firefly
*Buffy (though only up to s.5)
*Lord of the Rings
*Dead Like Me
*Redwall (don't judge me)
*Narnia
*Dr. Horrible
*Repo! The Genetic Opera
*The Lion King (I'm not sure if I'm familar with the fandom, but I do like the movie, though why this cross-over would come up...?)
*Magic School Bus (Ditto with the Lion King)

I could probably do CSI: NY at a stretch. Actually, I could probably do Animorphs as well if you REALLY wanted to stretch it, but I haven't read those in ages.